8 Sex Trends You Might Not Know About, But Definitely Should Explore

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. Getting Creative With Birth Control
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2015 has already been a big year for male contraceptives. Various kinds are in the works, all of which will allow the burden of accessing and using birth control to be shared. Yay, gender equality! Aaron Hamlin, director of the Male Contraception Initiative, promises that “this is a total game changer,” and I believe him. The long-term, non-hormonal concept that is in the works is anticipated to be out as early as 2018. Plus, there are plenty of condom variations available (and in the making), as well as a vaginal condom with a built-in vibrating ring that sounds like some good old contraceptive fun.

8 Sex Trends You Might Not Know About, But Definitely Should Explore

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By SARA TARDIFF Jul 2 2015

It doesn’t take a psychic to predict that plaid will be in for fall and that florals will be hot in spring. But what’s the latest in popular sex trends? “Sex trends?” you may ask. “Is that a thing that exists?” Is it possible that the seven billion people inhabiting our planet might agree that, sexually, some things are just way cooler than others? Imagine getting together with a few billion of your closest friends and deciding exactly which positions were the most awkward to try to do IRL. Of course, everyone has their sexual preferences, their favorite kinks, and their go-to positions, but you know something has got to be pretty awesome when it is considered trendy in the world of sex.

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Now, just because some things are trending for the time being doesn’t mean they’re only temporary obsessions. I’m hoping the whole body positivity thing and respecting how people identify are here to stay, because that is how things ought to be. As for trendier concepts, like rocking orange bodysuits and roleplaying OITNB? I can’t really say how long that one will last. Probably until Netflix launches its next show filled with gorgeous women. Which is totally OK with me.

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anorexia

 

Because the world is a bummer sometimes, and people can’t leave perfectly nice things alone, there’s a decently sized pool of research out there (*cough* Sigmund Freud *cough*) dedicated to proving that women who prefer clitoral orgasms are somehow deranged.

Does the basis for all that research have roots in toxic masculinity, and the idea that women who can get off without internal stimulation courtesy of aress.

The good news is that a study, recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, has found that all that Freud stuff is not true, and the researchers even went so far as to suggest that women who prefer clitoral orgasms to vaginal orgasms might have greater control over their sexual desire.

To perform this fun orgasm study, the researchers had 88 women between the ages of 18 and 53 answer detailed (and intimate) questions about their “orgasm experiences,” sexual history, and history of depression and anxiety. The women in the study watched a series of normal and ~sexy~ movies, were told to respond “as usual” to the sexy films, and then report their level of sexual desire afterwards.

What the study found is that a majority of the women (64%) said that a combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation is how they typically reach orgasm. But women who said clit stimulation was the main factor in reaching orgasm “reported a higher desire to self-stimulate and demonstrated greater control over their self-reported sexual arousal.”

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And, despite Freud’s idea that women who prefer external to internal stimulation are somehow mentally unsound, the researchers in this new study found no link whatsoever between preferred stimulation site and a history of depression or anxiety.

So! There you have it. Preferring a clitoral orgasm does not make you sad, or anxious, or otherwise mentally messed up. IMO, leave orgasms out of all that. They are good, and should stay good, and Freud, I’m sorry pal, but you got this one wrong.

Chloe Lloyd stuns in sexy silk slip with thigh-high slit as she cuddles up to her handsome Union J fiancé Josh Cuthbert in Dubai

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She’s become accustomed to the finer things in life thanks to her pop star fiancé Josh Cuthbert.
And Chloe Lloyd, 23, was enjoying the VIP lifestyle in Dubai on Thursday night, dining in style at Zengo restaurant in Le Royal Meridien Hotel.
The blonde beauty displayed her enviable model figure in a stunning silk slip that clung to her every curve as she cuddled up to the Union J singer.

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Look slinky in satin with Chloe’s House of CB dress

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House of CB nude stretch satin thigh split dress
Buy it here!
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British model Chloe Lloyd could probably wear a bin bag and still look good, but instead she chose this gorgeous nude satin dress for a night out in Dubai and totally knocked our socks off!

The blonde beauty stepped out with her Union J other half Josh Cuthbert in this stylish satin bodycon dress which features a flattering square neckline and sexy thigh split. The nude style is by House of CB and you can grab it for your next night out by clicking right.

The slip dress has been the hit item of the last season, and the boudoir dressing trend isn’t going anywhere yet. Get in on the act with one of the nude bodycon dresses in the edit below.

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From satin drape styles at Missguided and House of CB, to bodycon looks at Boohoo, Missy Empire and NaaNaa there’s plenty to choose from. Add a pair of chic court shoes and a leather biker

‘I want to be hot!’ Snooki shows off her bigger breasts to best friend

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Snooki’s got a brand new rack!

Jersey Shore star Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi revealed she’s just had breast enhancement surgery and is now the proud owner of a size C chest thanks to a lift and implants.

She unveiled her new look for the first time in a Moms With Attitude video released online Friday as she showed off her new boobs to best friend and reality co-star Jenni ‘JWOWW’ Farley.

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Still recovering: She also shared a selfie showing her in hospital garb and said she looks ‘like Frankenstein right now’
The mom of two – she has a four-year-old son Lorenzo and a two-year-old daughter Giovanna with husband Jionni LaValle – has been candid previously about getting Botox and lip fillers.
As for her latest procedure, ‘I call this my little mommy makeover’ she said.
‘Being a mom, obviously your boobs are destroyed by having kids, especially breast feeding. I breastfed Giovanna for a year,” she explained.
‘I want to look hot for my husband but I also want to feel great about myself and that was just an insecurity that I had.

Oops! JWOWW commented that she thought her friend was simply wearing a sports bra that had pushed her breasts up
She had kept the surgery a secret from her best friend JWOWW and hoped that her pal would instantly tell what she’d had done.
Sadly, she didn’t.

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Eventually Snooki had to tell JWOWW prompting a surprised response from her MTV co-star.
“Wait a minute…. I thought you were wearing a really good sports bra!’ Jenni, 30, exclaimed.
The pair then warn any ‘mom shamers’ to keep their opinions and comments to themselves.
‘I just want to feel good about myself and I want to feel sexy and pretty,’ Snooki said.
So if anybody has anything negative to say about getting my boobs done and my lips, why do you care? It’s not you, it’s me.’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3838760/Snooki-shows-bigger-breasts-best-friend-JWOWW-one-week-getting-boob-job.html#ixzz4N5mmyVd7
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Sexy Kim Kardashian

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Sexy Kim Kardashian upstages Kanye at his own concert in Miami with her cleavage-popping silver dress
By JENNIFER PEARSON FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

Kim Kardashian was there to support her husband Kanye West but once again she managed to steal the spotlight.
The 35-year-old reality star and her ample physical assets were the evening’s highlight and the sexy frock certainly didn’t hurt either.
Kim looked amazing in a shimmery silver dress with down-to-the-navel neckline that barely covered up her up in front.

Silver siren: Kim Kardashian upstaged her husband Kanye West at his own concert in Miami, Florida on Friday thanks to that very revealing outfit
Breathless: The dark-eyed Kim let her raven locks spill over her shoulder

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Breathless: The dark-eyed Kim let her raven locks spill over her shoulder
The Keeping Up With The Kardashians was right by Kanye’s side as they headed to the AmericanAirlines Arena – and apparently one and a half hours late too.
She teamed her revealing dress with a pair of lace-up, fawn-coloured boots.
Kim’s raven-dark locks unfurled past her waist as she strolled ahead with purpose.
What a vixen: The 35-year-old reality was out of this world gorgeous as she left the hotel with Kanye and headed to the AmericanAirlines Arena

What a vixen: The 35-year-old reality was out of this world gorgeous as she left the hotel with Kanye and headed to the AmericanAirlines Arena

What a vixen: The 35-year-old reality was out of this world gorgeous as she left the hotel with Kanye and headed to the AmericanAirlines Arena
Chest wars: While Kanye certainly showed good tone in his open shirt it couldn’t compare to Kim’s scantily clad front

Chest wars: While Kanye certainly showed good tone in his open shirt it couldn’t compare to Kim’s scantily clad front
On to the show: Getting ready was no cinch for Kim judging by her glam appearance

On to the show: Getting ready was no cinch for Kim judging by her glam appeara
Kim’s outfits have been getting more and more statement-making as the days go by recently, and her latest silver ensemble is no exception!

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The curvy star left very little to the imagination while out supporting her husband Kanye at one of his concerts in Miami. Kim wore a chain mail inspired, low cut top and styled it with a wrap, silver skirt by Paco Rabanne. Not one to follow the fashion crowd, the star decided against fastening her mini in the traditional way, and gave It her own style spin by just fastening one or two of the metallic studs, which gave the front a totally different shape.

Love her high shine look? You can buy the very same designer skirt at Yoox (click right) or shop from similar glossy separates below. Style up with a matching top like the star or give it a low key feel with a slouchy knit and tights once the weather cool

Lacy and racy: The mother-of-two matched her metallic outfit with a pair of fawn-coloured, lace-up boots

Lacy and racy: The mother-of-two matched her metallic outfit with a pair of fawn-coloured, lace-up boots
Kanye’s exposed chest paled in comparison’s to Kim’s in spite of the gold chains and the muscle tone.
Later at the venue, Kim showed off the wonders of the world backstage at Kanye’s Saint Pablo Tour concert amid the bright lights of Miami.
Kim couldn’t resist advertising her own amazing physical assets in a revealing Snapchat.
Kim was clad in a shimmery silver dress with a very low, down-to-the-navel neckline that made her bountiful cleavage stand out.
Time is on his side: Kanye was apparently an hour and a half late to his concert

Time is on his side: Kanye was apparently an hour and a half late to his concert
Time is on his side: Kanye was apparently an hour and a half late to his concert
Disco queen! Kim Kardashian rocks silver frock at Kanye show

She was seen posing and pursing her lips while allowing viewers a good look her figure from her perfectly make-up face and her scantily concealed chest to her slender waistline.
Kim was the star of her Snapchat but her nephew Mason, six, provided cute back-up.
‘Backstage,’ Kim’s voice was heard saying as the camera followed her steps through the murky corridors.
Look at me: Kim was super sultry as she shared a Snapchat from behind-the-scenes at Kanye’s concert in Miami, Florida on Friday

Look at me: Kim was super sultry as she shared a Snapchat from behind-the-scenes at Kanye’s concert in Miami, Florida on Friday
It’s a bust: The reality star – and her ample cleavage – fairly upstaged Kanye at his own show

It’s a bust: The reality star – and her ample cleavage – fairly upstaged Kanye at his own show
‘All right guys, we’re on the move’: Kim shared the excitement leading to Kanye’s grand entrance
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‘All right guys, we’re on the move’: Kim shared the excitement leading to Kanye’s grand entrance
‘It’s like a spaceship’: The reality star was heard describing the scene to her nephew Mason

‘It’s like a spaceship’: The reality star was heard describing the scene to her nephew Mason
‘All right guys, we’re on the move! Showtime. Look, I’m with Mason,’ she added with small burst of excitement, in a voice she often uses with her own three-year-old daughter North.
She points out the bright lights that await them ahead as they approach the stage.
‘It’s like a spaceship right?’ she was heard asking Mason, whose little voice was heard saying, ‘Yeah.’

Better orgasm

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The doctor who promises you a better orgasm with a $1200 injection of blood into the clitoris – and he discovered the treatment after he injected his own penis for a year
Dr Charles Runels injects blood into a patient’s clitoris to ‘heighten feeling’
The procedure, which costs $1200 a shot, also ‘cures post-birth damage, FGM scarring, vaginal eczema’
More than 20,000 women have had it, Dr O claims it has 85% success rate
Began offering the treatment to patients after his lover demanded he inject blood into her clitoris – resulting in heightened sensitivity and stronger orgasms
She has seen him inject blood into his penis for about a year to achieve stronger
Treatment has not been FDA approved and the medical community claim its freakery
By MIA DE GRAAF FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
PUBLISHED: 14:57, 16 September 2016 | UPDATED: 03:53, 17 September 2016

To his patients, Dr Charles Runels is a miracle-worker.

Better known as ‘Dr O’, he helps women reach orgasm with a treatment that involves injecting a woman’s own blood into her clitoris to heighten feeling.

He first attempted the treatment when his lover demanded that he inject blood into her clitoris as a Valentine’s Day gift after she had watched him inject his own penis with blood for about a year.

The result was such a tremendous success that he decided to try it on his patients.

Now, seven years later more than 20,000 have had the procedure done and Dr Runels claims to have an 85 percent success rate.

And although the medical community dismiss his techniques as freakery, his clients – ranging from victims of genital mutilation to women with post-birth damage – insist he has changed their lives.

Dr Charles Runels (pictured) says his work is aimed at empowering women. More than 20,000 women have had the procedure he pioneered which involves having blood injected into the clitoris to heighten feeling and achieve orgasm

Dr Charles Runels (pictured) says his work is aimed at empowering women. More than 20,000 women have had the procedure he pioneered which involves having blood injected into the clitoris to heighten feeling and achieve orgasm

Operating from a nondescript clinic in the conservative town of Fairhope in Alabama, Dr Runels first draws blood from a patient’s arm. He then uses a centrifuge to separate the platelets into a platelet-rich plasma (PRP).

That is put in a syringe, and inserted into the patient’s clitoris.The whole thing lasts about 20 minutes.

The idea is that the procedure stimulates cell growth. When you have a cut, stem cells are attracted to the area and become activated to grow new tissue that includes collagen, fatty tissue and blood vessels. As well as supposedly clearing inflammation, the increased blood flow increases sensitivity in the area.

The injection, which can only be performed by Dr Runels or one of the 500 practitioners he has trained since it was patented in 2011, costs upwards of $1,200 per shot.

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Why a lively sex life is good for older women…but not for…

More than 50 million women struggle to achieve an orgasm, according to research by the American Medical Association and according to Dr Runels and co-creator Dr Samuel Wood, this procedure is the only sure-fire female equivalent of a little blue pill.

It is not Dr Runels’ first moment in the spotlight. The idea of PRP shots hit headlines in 2013 when Kobe Bryant got some at different parts of his body to fix injuries.

Soon after, Kim Kardashian posted a picture on Instagram of her face covered in blood after a ‘vampire face lift’ – by Dr Runels. And more recently, the so-called ‘vampire breast lift’ has also become a viral trend.

All of those procedures follow the same principle as the O-shot.

Dr Runels’ ‘vampire face lift’ follows the same principal as the O-shot. The procedure made headlines in 2013 when Kim Kardashian posted the photo on Instagram after getting it done
Dr Runels’ ‘vampire face lift’ follows the same principal as the O-shot. The procedure made headlines in 2013 when Kim Kardashian posted the photo on Instagram after getting it done

In a recent interview with the Guardian, Dr Runels revealed he had been injecting his own penis for maximized sensitivity for about a year, and one day his lover said she wanted the same. After seeing her heightened sensitivity and stronger orgasms – ‘very strong, ejaculatory orgasms’, he said – he decided to try the procedure on other patients.

He is adamant that his work is aimed at empowering women. A patient who spoke with the Guardian’s Kathleen Hale described how she was raped at 13, then repeatedly raped throughout a 10-year marriage, and was so physically scarred that she only felt pain.

But after a visit to Dr O her injuries faded and ‘her incontinence went away’.

Reflecting on that patient’s case, Dr Runels told Hale: ‘That’s my revenge [against rapists] – to say “Eff you” and give women their flower back.’

That is just one case in thousands. Of the 20,000 women treated, Dr Runels says 85 percent are happy with the results.

But medical professionals are still irate about the lack of testing and FDA approval.

Dr Runels funded a $95,000 study at George Washington University to try the procedure on nine women.

The study focused on the effect injected PRP would have on a kind of vaginal eczema (vulvar lichen sclerosus), which is a common form of scarring on rape and FGM victims, as well as women post-birth. It can also occur naturally.

The research, published in the Journal of Lower Genital Tract Disease, found PRP did reduce inflammation.

However, doctors and OB/GYNs have dismissed the results as thin since it only involved nine women and the findings were based on testimonial feedback.

And many question why Dr Runels hasn’t sought FDA approval for the procedure.

MRI scan of female orgasm processed in every region

PUTTING IT TO THE TEST

The injection is offered by a few surgeries practices in the US.

One of them is the V-Spot Medi-spa in New York – which is run by Cindy Barshop, a former star of the Real House Wives Of New York City.

In fact, Elite Daily reporter Emily McCombs recently went to test the procedure at Barshop’s Upper East Side ‘vagina spa’.

By the third week, I started feeling much more sensation during sex
Elite Daily reporter Emily McCombs, who got the O-shot
Dr Carolyn DeLucia, the gynaecologist who treated Ms McCombs, told her: ‘The procedure is mostly about returning function.

‘It’s about being comfortable in our everyday lives and intimacy is an important part of that.’

Ms McCombs said after taking some blood from her arm Dr DeLucia, applied topical cream to numb her clitoris and vagina area.

‘I didn’t feel anything except her fingers inside my vagina when she did the G-shot injection, which just felt like a regular gynecological exam’, she wrote.

After the procedure, which took just over 20 minutes, Ms McCombs noted that she felt more sensitivity during with her fiance.

‘By the third week, I started feeling much more sensation during sex. I was more quickly aroused, and it was much easier to orgasm once we got started,’ she said.

A Beginner’s Guide to Loving Lubricant

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beginers guide to lubricants

A Beginner’s Guide to Loving Lubricant
BY
EMILY MORSE
SEPTEMBER 11, 2016 6:00 PM
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PHOTO: STOCKSY
Hi Emily,

I love you and your show, and I’ve had a great time testing out your tips for spicing things up with my boyfriend. Per your recommendation, we have recently been trying to work lube into our sexual routine, but stopped because I was really not enjoying it. It made a huge mess and got everywhere during foreplay, and I was very aware of it WHILE we were having sex. I also didn’t like the way it felt afterward—especially if we had sex during the day (because I would have to go somewhere after, and I would have lube all around my vagina).

I know you’re a huge fan of lube, and I want to love it. But I feel like there’s something I must be missing, because so far, I’m not getting the appeal. Were we just using too much? Is there another lube you can suggest that might be better?

Thank you! Sheridan, age 22

Dear Sheridan,

I get it. I’ve been there. You get all excited to try something new, and the results are less than thrilling, so you start to question whether it’s really for you. Everyone else loves it, shouldn’t you? But before you lose the lube love completely, let’s try to troubleshoot so you can get the most out of what I think is an essential element to great sex.

The first thing we should probably look at is the type of lubricant you were using. There are a lot of options out there with different ingredients and textures, as well as varying qualities and price points. And yes: There are bad lubricants out there. Before you pick a lube out of the bargain bin at a drug store, it’s important to know what you’re taking home and slathering on your lady parts. The wrong lube can come with a host of problems that can really spoil an otherwise hot hookup.

So what separates the good stuff from the bad (besides the price tag?) To start, a low-quality lube is often sticky and leaves a residue behind. They can have perfumes or dyes that cause infections, mess up your vaginal pH balance and, as you noticed, may feel unnatural during sex.

On the other hand, a good lube is made to match and compliment your natural lubrication, rather than overpower or replace it. It should feel slippery or silky, depending on the type, but NEVER tacky. And the true test of a great lubricant is that you really can’t tell it’s there at all—it enhances, but never distracts from, the sex at hand.

So let’s talk the best lube for you. If you’re new to lubricants, definitely start with a water-based formula. You will find that this type is lightweight, doesn’t get sticky, washes away easily and most closely matches your natural lubrication. Water-based lubricant may not last as long as other formulas, but it won’t stain your sheets or leave a big ol’ mess.

If slippery is more your speed, you might want to try out a silicone lube. Silicone-based formulas are thicker, last longer, and are great for water play—but be aware that these are not as safe to use with other products. While they do work with (most) latex condoms, be careful when using them with your favorite silicone sex toys (the silicone breaks down the toy’s materials and can cause serious damage).

Lately, social media has been touting the benefits of natural lubricants like coconut oil. This trend may seem like a “healthy” alternative to silicone products because they’re organic and made from natural ingredients, but oil-based lubricants don’t work for everyone. The natural sugars can disrupt your vaginal pH-balance, sometimes leading to irritation, and they are definitely not latex- or sex toy-safe.

My favorite option for a water-based lubricant is JO Naturalove Organic lubricant. It has a smooth, long-lasting glide that isn’t overpowering or distracting during sex. It’s safe to use with toys and condoms and, as a bonus, contains chamomile, which actually soothes the vagina instead of causing irritation.

The second issue that likely contributed to your negative experience is using too much—hence your hyperawareness of it during sex. You want to start with a dime-size amount of lube, then add more as needed.

A quick note with regards to postplay cleanup: Even if it’s unpleasant or inconvenient, it’s important to clean the vagina after sex—no matter what. The microbiota of the vagina is very delicate and any lingering fluids can disrupt it, causing itchiness, discomfort, and infections.

The bottom line: don’t give up! The only real way to figure out what type of lube and how much to use is experimentation. You’ll know you have found the right one because it makes everything better. (I promise!)

You won’t become an expert on your first dip into the lube pool, so keep experimenting!

Xxx Emily

Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality and host of the iTunes Top-Rated podcast Sex with Emily. As an expert, author, and star of television and radio programs, she has inspired millions of listeners and followers to make sex a priority, enhance communication, and strengthen their relationships. To learn more or to subscribe to her podcast, visit sexwithemily.com.

ME AND MY OPERATION: Hidden pump that could give a man his sex life back

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David had surgery to remove the prostate and felt very sore and tired for a couple of weeks

David had surgery to remove the prostate and felt very sore and tired for a couple of weeks
About half of men aged from 40 to 70 will experience some degree of erectile dysfunction. David Storton, 57, a restaurant manager who lives with his wife in Dorset, suffered problems after prostate cancer treatment and has since undergone surgery to restore sexual function, as he tells ANGELA EPSTEIN.
THE PATIENT
Having always enjoyed good health, eight years ago I had blood in my urine every time I went to the loo.
My GP reassured me it was likely to be an infection and gave me antibiotics, but the problem continued.
A few weeks later, I went back to my GP, who suggested it might be a prostate problem – though there was no suggestion it was anything serious since I was only 49 and had no family history of cancer.
I had a blood test to check for prostate specific antigen, a protein produced by the prostate gland. If you have raised levels it could mean you have an infection or even cancer.
To my enormous relief, my results were normal.
But since the bleeding continued, I was referred to hospital for a rectal examination. I still didn’t think it could be anything serious – I was fit, slim and didn’t smoke or drink. So I was pole-axed when I was told I had prostate cancer.
The good news was that the cancer was contained within the prostate gland, so my specialist said I could be treated with radiotherapy or surgery to remove the prostate.
The other option was to wait to see what happened, as prostate cancer can be slow growing. I decided on surgery, as I’d then know for sure that the cancer had gone.
I was warned that I might suffer temporary incontinence and there was also the risk of erection problems, but I feared the cancer more, so I felt it was worth it.
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Fried salmon fillet in a frying pan
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D0EJDB Abstract hands writing on the paper
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Jill Wakeford 57, of Chichester West Sussex. 13/4/16. She had a heart attack with fairly classic symptoms (crushing chest pain, feeling wiped out) six years ago – but ignored them for three days; totally shocked when finally went to A&E to get better painkiller for what she thought was a torn muscle and was told she was having a major heart attack and she would have died if left longer. Stent treatment failed but bypass later that year worked. Article is about women and heart disease and huge increase in recognition of womenís risk of heart disease since Jillís heart attack. Photo by James Clarke. www.jamesclarke.me, james@jamesclarke.me. 07941676821. Strictly not to be reproduced without permission.
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And anyway, I was still young and told myself it was unlikely that I would suffer.
My wife of 25 years agreed that, above all, the most important thing was to know the cancer had been removed.
I had the surgery on July 13, 2008, and for a couple of weeks I felt very sore and tired, so sex wasn’t a concern. As for incontinence, I was never really troubled by it.
But he found himself unable to get an erection when he was ready to become intimate with his wife again
But he found himself unable to get an erection when he was ready to become intimate with his wife again
After my three-month check-up I felt ready to become intimate with my wife again, but I found myself unable to get an erection.
What’s more, though I could feel sensation, my penis felt constantly cold and painful, as if there wasn’t enough blood getting through.
My consultant said this often happened and we tried a series of treatments, such as Viagra – a drug that increases blood flow to the penis. Unfortunately, this didn’t make any difference.
I was then given Caverject, a drug that’s injected directly into the side of the penis, where it is supposed to dilate the arteries and allow blood to flow in.
I also tried the medication as a suppository into the opening at the tip of the penis. As well as having no effect, both options were incredibly painful.
After several months of this, I started to feel angry – and emasculated. I wanted that part of my life to return to normal. I’m ashamed to say I wasn’t the easiest person to live with – I felt moody and annoyed all the time.
Even though I’d been warned this might occur, I didn’t expect it to happen to me.
After medication didn’t work, he came across penile implants – where they surgically place a pump inside the penis to produce an erection. ‘It sounded dramatic, but by that stage I was willing to try anything’
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After medication didn’t work, he came across penile implants – where they surgically place a pump inside the penis to produce an erection. ‘It sounded dramatic, but by that stage I was willing to try anything’
My wife and I had always enjoyed an active sex life and I wasn’t prepared for this part of our marriage to be over – even though she was patient and supportive.
In despair, I scoured the internet for some miracle solution and it was then I came across penile implants – where they surgically place a pump inside the penis to produce an erection.
It sounded dramatic, but by that stage I was willing to try anything.
Further research led me to consultant urologist David Ralph, who specialises in erectile problems, and through my GP I got a referral to see him at University College Hospital in London a few weeks later.
Mr Ralph reassured me that the implant would suit my situation – I was otherwise healthy and had exhausted all other options.
I waited three months to have the operation as an NHS patient in July 2013.
The surgery involves having two cylinders implanted inside the penis.
20%
Of relationships are affected by erectile dysfunction
These are attached to a tiny pump that’s put into your scrotum – squeezing this by hand moves fluid from a small chamber inside the pelvis into the cylinders, creating the erection.
You deflate the device by pressing the deflate button on the pump.
I had to have a general anaesthetic and stayed in hospital overnight. The day after the surgery I felt quite swollen and bruised, but not in much pain.
I was told to wait six weeks for it to heal and then I began practising inflating the penis – it worked within seconds.
I’m so pleased to say my sex life has been fully restored as a result. Yes, you have to wait a moment or two for it to inflate, but I can behave and perform like a man – with no side-effects. Cancer makes you re-evaluate your life and I realise I had a brush with death.
But you have to feel alive, too. And now I can say I do.
THE SURGEON
David Ralph is a consultant urological surgeon at University College London Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust.
Men suffer erection problems for all sorts of reasons, including illnesses such as diabetes, through injury such as a pelvic fracture or as a result of treatment for prostate cancer.
Problems occur because of damage to the erectile nerve, which encourages blood flow into the penis to create an erection.
He can now behave and perform like a man – with no side-effects (file photo)
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He can now behave and perform like a man – with no side-effects (file photo)
The nerve runs on either side of the prostate. Sometimes it can be spared in prostate cancer surgery, but not always – it depends on the extent of the cancer.
For men who suffer erection problems with a medical cause that is unlikely to improve naturally or with medication – as happened with David – surgery can be a great solution. I carry out about 300 implants a year – an estimated 700 men in Britain have this operation annually.
The operation takes about an hour-and-a-half under general anaesthetic. To begin, we make a 2 in incision into the scrotum for access to the base of the penis.
Then a smaller incision is made on the left and right side of the penis and we place what’s known as a dilator at the base of the penis, pushing tissue aside to create a space about 1cm wide.
After that we take the implant itself – a cylinder, which will be a length and girth appropriate to the patient – and insert it into the space we’ve created.
The incisions are stitched up with dissolvable stitches. The pump part of the device is then inserted under the loose skin of the scrotal sac, between the testicles.
The reservoir – a spherical silicone prosthesis holding 60 to 100 ml of saline – is placed inside the pelvis through the same incision in the scrotum.
To work the implant, the scrotum has to be squeezed about ten times, allowing it to fill with fluid, which rushes into the cylinder. The patient can ejaculate as normal.
When sex is over, it is deflated with the switch in the scrotum.
During the operation, we check this works and then close the incisions with dissolvable stitches. The implant itself should last ten to 12 years.
It’s available on the NHS for any erection problem. For men like David, it means they can start living a full life again.
The procedure, which is available on the NHS, costs about £10,000 privately.
WHAT ARE THE RISKS?
■ The risks of this operation include post-operative bleeding and infection, which affect in 1 per cent of cases.
■ The patient has to refrain from sex for a month to six weeks after the operation to allow healing.
■ Operating the pump requires manual dexterity, so isn’t good for someone with arthritis or other problems with their hands.
Professor Christopher Eden, consultant urologist at Royal Surrey County Hospital in Guildford, says: ‘The inflatable implant lasts only ten years and replacing it, or even just removing it, involves another general anaesthetic.
‘Though unusual, the implant can erode, which would also mean that it would need to be removed.’

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The nine things you will NEVER change about your partner

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Tracey Cox reveals the habits that you can’t change in a partner
Religious beliefs and hobbies remain the hardest things to amend
Tracey says that dress sense and manners are more negotiable
By TRACEY COX FOR MAILONLINE

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What do you do if you’ve just met someone you really like but they have qualities or habits you know would drive you nuts long-term?
Or you’ve been with a partner for a while but find yourselves fighting about the same things, over and over?
Whether you stay or go in either scenario depends very much on whether you think your partner can (and is willing to) change.
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Tracey Cox reveals the nine things that you will never be able to change about your partner, such as their annoying hobbies

Tracey Cox reveals the nine things that you will never be able to change about your partner, such as their annoying hobbies
‘But you should never try to change your partner!’, I can hear you all loudly protest.
It’s admirable but unrealistic to expect to love every single part of each other, so most couples do mould to make a better ‘fit’ once they commit long-te

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But what are the things you will never change and what’s relatively easy to tweak?
This is by no means an exhaustive list (on both counts) but it does cover the main areas.
WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE
Addiction issues
Yes people can kick major alcohol or drug problems (most successfully with the support of Alcoholics Anonymous or similar groups) but only if they 100 per cent want to change.
Even then it’s a path you’d only want to take with a partner you were totally committed to and desperate to be with.
The statistics for people who manage to get off – and more crucially – stay off drugs and alcohol – are still, sadly, very low.
Core personality traits
Tracey says that personality traits are formed very young but once we get older they are hard to alter
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Tracey says that personality traits are formed very young but once we get older they are hard to alter
Not only are some personality traits genetic and likely to remain constant throughout our lives, the famous Aristotle quote ‘Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man’ is largely true.
Basic personality traits are formed very young and the rest tend to develop by the time we’re 18.
We’re capable of personality change at any stage but it gets harder the older we get.
A significant study done over a century ago (Harvard University) proved by the time we hit 30, our character is ‘set like plaster’.
Their relationship with their family
I’m the youngest of three children and despite being 54, every time I’m around my brother and sister, I instantly behave like the baby of the family and they act as my protectors.
How you relate to your siblings in terms of birth order is almost impossible to change but, as many will know, a tactful and perceptive partner can work miracles to smooth frayed family relationships.
The reverse is also true: plenty of close families have been ripped apart by a poisonous new addition.
As plenty of people will also know first hand, while it’s OK for your partner to criticise their family, if you’re the one dealing it out or you agree a little too heartily, they’ll pretty quickly change their tune.
Happily, more people like their partner’s family than you’d think: internationally, between 75 and 85 per cent of men and women said they liked their partner’s family in an extensive study done in 2012.
Hobbies they enjoy
Whether it be plane spotting or rambling, watching or playing sport, a passion for pilates, reading or gardening, woe betide the person who tries to stop their partner from doing something they genuinely enjoy.
Unless it dramatically interferes with the relationship, why would you want to deprive a partner of pleasure?
If it does impact on the relationship (taking up entire weekends and turning you into a golf widow, for instance) and you absolutely can’t bear to join them in the activity, take it as a strong sign of incompatibility, say relationship experts.
The sexpert adds that a person will act the same around their family no matter what age they get to
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The sexpert adds that a person will act the same around their family no matter what age they get to
Tracey Cox shares her thoughts on forgiving a cheating partner

The nine things you will NEVER change about your partner

The nine things you will NEVER change about your partner

We all know or have heard of people who’ve either found or renounced (their particular) God for people they love.
But it’s a big ask if you’ve been either atheist or deeply religious since childhood to suddenly change your belief system.
Religion also shapes our moral code and core personality.
If you’re at completely different ends of the religious spectrum, it may well cause problems in your relationship if you both secretly believe you’ll convert the other to your way of thinking.
How often they want sex
Everyone’s appetite for sex gets artificially boosted at the start of a relationship so it’s hard to tell what someone’s natural libido level is until you’re about a year into the relationship.
But once the love and sex hormones stop flooding our brain, you’ll both get a truer picture of how compatible your sex drives are.
While it is possible to alter your natural desire for sex, it’s not easy: mismatched libidos remains one of the most common topics couples fight about.
Their attitude to infidelity
One of things you may be able to change is your partner’s taste in style

One of things you may be able to change is your partner’s taste in style
If your partner has a history of cheating, there’s a strong possibility they will continue the pattern and cheat on you.
One study found among those (college students in this case) who’d had sex outside their relationship, 86 per cent of men and 62 per cent of women did it more than once.
But there is hope.
Research has found a lot depends on why your partner cheated in the first place.
If it’s because they weren’t happy in their previous relationships but are with you, it’s not necessarily a predictor of future behaviour.
Communication style
We all have a favoured way of communicating.
Aural people prefer to communicate by what they hear, visual people by what they see and kinesthetic people by what they touch and feel.
We’re all a mix, but one preference tends to dominate.
That “I feel like I’ve known you forever” feeling we get when first meeting someone is because they hear, see or ‘feel’ the world the way we do.
You both experience life the same way, so feel an instant connection.
All isn’t lost if your partner isn’t your ‘type’ but you do need to tap into each other’s style of communicating in order to make it work.
The fact they have children
This seems an odd thing to include on the list but I get lots of emails from people wanting their partners to choose between their children and their relationship because they don’t get on with them.
This isn’t just morally and ethically deplorable, if a partner iswilling to ditch the kids to hook up with you, it’s an indication of a highly unstable, undesirable person.
If the person you want to be with has children, only proceed or stay if you are 100 per cent happy with the idea that these children will be in their life permanently.
WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE (IF THEY’RE WILLING TO)
Dress sense
Wanting to change your partner’s look can have ominous implications (forcing someone to dress more provocatively or cover up completely are both symptomatic of a controlling personality) but often it’s simply a desire to see someone looking more attractive.
Course, what constitutes attractive is a matter of taste but if your partner sees you as stylish and knows their dress sense leaves a lot to be desired, they’ll often be happy to have a makeover.
Manners
Blame the parents if you don’t like your partner’s manners: most of what we learn about politeness, table manners and being appreciative of what others do for us is down to what our parents drummed into us as children.
While it’s not pleasant being told your manners aren’t up to scratch, a lot of people change simply by watching how a more mannered partner behaves and copying them.
Others won’t mind if certain things are kindly and subtly pointed out.
Culture
Ten years ago, who’d have thought any of us would be so open to watching TV series and movies with sub-titles?
If a new experience is good, most of us are more than happy to give things a go.
So a partner who has limited experience with movies, theatre, restaurants, different foods etc can often to made more ‘sophisticated’ if they’re willing to change – and find the new offerings to their liking.
(Some) bad habits
It depends on what the habit is (see addiction abuse above!) but things like dropping towels on the floor, picking their feet (ewwww!), leaving the lid off the toothpaste are all curable – albeit with a fair bit of nagging.